“I’m still recovering from how the ‘listen to detransitioners’ crowd tried to use my story. “
People who go on about “listening to detransitioners” stop listening if you retransition and/or talk about how detransitioning hurt you. They don’t give a f*ck about people who detransition. They just want to use us and they stop “caring” when we stop being useful.
Hell, they stop listening when you say something they don’t want to hear. Which detrans stories get into the mainstream media & debates about transition are very limited. So much gets filtered out because it doesn’t fit transphobic narratives that justify control of trans people.
So many people who loved my writing when they could use my detransition story to “prove” how harmful transition are now treat me like I’m “crazy” & dismiss my experiences since I started talking about how detransitioning hurt me. They never cared about my suffering or well-being.
They never actually listened to me when I was detrans. I spent so much of my time telling people that the way they talked about my experiences were dehumanizing and exploitative and most of them never listened. It was always about exploiting my trauma, never about real support.
I know of so many detrans women who pushed back on how other people used and objectified us but that’s never part of “listening to detransitioners”. No one heard us when we asserted our boundaries or asked to be treated like people, not “mutilated bodies” or trauma porn.
I’m still a person who detransitioned. I still talk about how detransition impacted my life but because I now talk about how detransition hurt me and was a kind of conversion practice, my detransition experience isn’t even acknowledged by the “listen to detransitioners” crowd.
What they really mean is “listen to detransitioners who support the narrative about medical transition I’m trying to prove. Listen to these detransition stories and don’t even acknowledge other kinds of detransition stories even exist”. That’s exploitation, not real support.
I got very little real support when I was detransitioning but so many people tried to use me and my experiences. All their “concern” was bullshit and it vanished as soon as I came out as trans again and started talking about how detransition hurt me. They never cared about me.
I can’t tell you how enraged I get when I see fake concern for people who detransition. None of these people actually do shit to help people who detransition, they just use us until we’re no longer useful and then drop us. They want our stories, they don’t care about our lives.
I’m still recovering from how the “listen to detransitioners” crowd tried to use my story. Their “support” was abuse and exploitation that fucking traumatized me. They never listened, not when I was detrans and not now. People who detransition deserve so much better.
Photo of Ky Schevers from Medium.
More about Ky Schevers here: An “Ex-Detransitioner” Disavows the Anti-Trans Movement She Helped Spark
See also Ky Schevers: Detransition as Conversion Therapy: A Survivor Speaks Out
Ky Schevers, “detransitioned” ex-TERF, on how transphobic feminism is harming transgender people
