A letter to… my transgender daughter
A must read by a parent of a transgender kid in The Guardian:
You were my baby boy, my best buddy, my raison d’etre, but you went somewhere as a teenager, immersed in a boxed-up virtual world, searching for answers. You showed me your arms and neck, scratched, from self-harming, but still neither of us knew why the transition to adulthood seemed so painful. I ached as much as you did when you said, “I just don’t know why I feel so sad all the time.”
Then, at 18, and overnight, you began to dress flamboyantly and started to play with – and find – your identity. I thought this was wonderful and showed much-needed new self-confidence. When you said you had something to tell me, I didn’t see it coming.
You were so certain that you were female, and didn’t question anything. I desperately wanted you to question, but it was clearly a big enough leap just to tell me, and you were adamant about who you are now. Of course, my first words were to tell you how much I love you, and that I would always support you. That was many months ago and this has been the steepest learning curve of my life – and, no doubt, the bravest but most exhilarating of yours…
You no longer have an expression of teenage sadness and angst. Now I catch you when you’re not looking and see a contented smile. And that is all that matters.