For some trans and queer people, gender variance may express itself through erotic fantasies. There is nothing wrong in that. They do not make you less trans (or more trans, for that matter).
Crossdream Life is a safe forum set up for cis, trans, queer and nonbinary people who feel a need to talk about their dreams and longings, sexuality and gender.
Crossdream Life is a safe space for transgender, nonbinary and queer people.
these photos of casa susanna were the first pictures i ever saw of trans women in the past and theyve been important to me since coming out
These are so beautiful!
(via freedarick)
The more I learn about crossdreamers and other gender variant people, the more I realize that this is a diverse group of people. That is: You cannot make up a profile that fits all transgender and genderqueer people, in the same way there is no pattern of personality that fits all women or all men, all Europeans or all Asians.
Still some male to female transgender people have more in common than others. Some, for instance, tackle their gender variance by isolating themselves socially.
This is the story about one love shy male to female transgender person.
Photo: MIke Powell
Are you confused about your gender, but someone has told you that you cannot be trans because you have erotic dreams about being the “other” gender? They used the “fetish” word, didn’t they? Or maybe they referred to the “autogynephilia” theory of Ray Blanchard.
Here’s the fact: It is all bullshit. It is all bad science. It is all yet another attempt from a transphobic society to force you stay in your closet, and stop you from becoming your true self.
(Trans women discussing Blanchard on twitter).
See also: The Autogynephilia Theory Again
By Marion Raven Thorsdottir
If there was a magic pill
That could make this innate urge go away
None of us would be here today
Why is it like this?
Because a society through its infinite
jurassic way of thinking
Has glorified war, violence, militarism
Scoffed at the moon Luna
The softness, the sway of the feminine wave
The life giving wave of of Yin
How much has changed
Our existence is no longer a sin
As if it ever were
how much things still are the same
None places either of us could go to
If presenting as we are today
With long standing internal strife
Hours, days, weeks, months, years on end
hoardings and Urges,
Anxiety and purges
Pain and pleasure all mixed together
Self imposed feelings of shame
Until some day
Finding that we are not alone
Listen to the ancient wisdom of the past
From places and cultures
Uninfested by fantasy fairy tales
Imposed on the world
Through conquest and war
Proclaimed as eternal Truths
How wrong they were
How wrong they are
Listen to the voices and signs from times
Before patriarchy replaced matriarchy
Where two spirits were respected
Feared and revered
Listen to the water, listen to the wind
Also our voices of wisdom will be heard at last
As I take mine from the delicate storms of thunder
Is there a way
Out of this rabbit hole?
Marion Raven Thorsdottir take her name from the Norse god Thor, who once had to dress up as a woman to get back his hammer. The change is a reference to old beliefs about the crossgender nature of shamans.
“A Flapper Named Alfred”
Zagria is probably the most influential transgender history blogger around, and her A Gender Variance Who’s Who is a treasure trove of information on transgender people, events and theories throughout history.
She has now written a review of my book A Creative Crossdreamer Vocabulary.
She sums up her understanding of crossdreaming like this:
There is narrative power in the Crossdreamer vision. It deconstructs the barrier between trans and cis, and perhaps unifies transsexual, transvestite, drag and dreamers more so than the word ‘trans’ does. It especially allows for the fact that we each dream of gender in our own way, and find different solutions. The transsexual path is not for all.
That was indeed one of the main objectives of creating that term.
The book is available over at Amazon.
There is someone for everyone, even if you are gender variant.
I have been communicating with a lot of male to female crossdreamers and transgender people during the last nine years or so, and one of the major challenges facing many of them is extreme loneliness.
Many of them tell me they have few if any friends. The discussion that follows often leads us in direction of the topic of romance and sex.
There several reasons for why this becomes problematic:
Firstly, the are often confused about their own gender. As one young British crossdreamer recently told me: “I want to be a girl!” And if that isn’t possible, this person wants at least to dress up like one.
It is hard to go out and seek out a woman for love and companionship, if she expects you to play the role of the straight non-transgender man, and you dream about being the female partner.
The fact is that many of those who are safely anchored in their assigned gender, also fear condemnation and ridicule if they reveal their gender variance to a partner.
So crossdreamers are facing two problems:
1. To find someone to love
2. If they do find someone to love, they might lose them if they tell them about their transgender nature (and I am using the word transgender in its broad umbrella sense here, including all shades of gender variant).
This is especially a problem for male to female (MTF) crossdreamers who love women.
The Crossdream Life forum, a safe space for all shades of transgender and genderqueer, has been hard to reach for the few days, as forum host Lefora has moved over to new servers.
The forum is now back online. Let’s meet over at Crossdream Life and talk about what it means to be trans gifted!
Visit crossdreamlife.com.
