What Gender Dysphoria Feels Like

How do you explain gender dysphoria to cis people? It is clearly hard for many of them to imagine what this kind of misalignment feels like.

Over at reddit Cascadeon has published a very useful analogy:

Gender is a lot like a pair of shoes. If you have on a good, comfortable, well fitting pair, you don’t notice it or think about it. As you walk around you aren’t constantly thinking about your shoes and the comfort, it’s just there and fine and normal and it doesn’t concern you one single bit. It’s almost hard to notice because if they feel fine it seems to silly and unimportant to spend energy thinking about it.

But if your shoes are too small and tight or there is a rock in them it’s all you can think about. Every step is annoying and miserable and you don’t want to do anything else until you fix this damned rock. Doing anything else seems crazy until your shoes stop hurting you.

So I think in that sense, most people probably can’t really conceptualize the feeling of their gender well because it just fits right and always has, so it’s hard to imagine how all the small, normal things just constantly feel wrong, even if you are alone in your home.

Over at Upworthy Tod Perry has published  a whole article based on this analogy. Tod presents the medical concept of gender dysphoria and adds:

In the end, empathy is the key to understanding. By finding more effective ways to present the experiences of marginalized groups, we can bridge the gap between these communities and those who deny them their rights. Or, in other words, teach them what it’s like to walk a mile in their shoes.

Indeed!

Parent of transgender teen debunks tired claims about transgender people

In a letter to the Sydney Morning Herald, Karen Lee, from Earlwood, Australia, said the suggestion that it’s “too easy” for trans young people to transition “[does] not accord with my experience or those of other parents I know”.

Referring to a transphobic piece in the same newspaper, Lee writes:

As the parent of a transgender teen, the views in this piece do not accord with my experience or those of other parents I know (“My child is transitioning gender, but I feel the system makes it too easy”, December 16).

In no other field of medicine would the claim that “it is too easy to get medical care for children” be a criticism. Access to care in accordance with government-approved guidelines should be applauded not derided. 

However, in most states of Australia, access to healthcare for transgender teens is anything but “easy”. Clinics are woefully underfunded and there is a real shortage of specialists to see transgender children. The public healthcare system is failing families at a time when they need support and expert advice most. 

The piece also repeats the tired claim that being transgender is a teenage “fad”. This has been widely debunked in the medical literature and is totally illogical. What teenager would risk rejection by family and friends, and a life of challenges for the sake of a fad? In my experience, teenagers spend months if not years weighing their decision to come out. 

I do agree that if we get it wrong “the results will be devastating in the long run, and the sense of damage to relationships will be incredibly deep”. Transgender teens need the love of their parents, and the support of the health and education systems if they are to stay safe and thrive.

Pink News has more on this story.

Photo: Prostock-Studio

International Health Organizations Support Treatments for Transgender Kids

The directors of multiple medical organisations that study transgender health and gender dysphoria have released a joint statement calling for the UK Bell vs Tavistock High Court decision in the United Kingdom to be appealed.

The High Court has made it hard for transgender kids to get access to puberty blockers. The blockers give transgender children time to consider their gender identities without having the hormone rush of puberty change their bodies before they are old enough to make a final decision regarding their gender identity.

On December 1, 2020, the London High Court ruled that children are unable  to consent to taking puberty blockers. All applicants for gender affirming medical intervention in the UK under the age of 16 must first seek authorization from a court to be able to access puberty blockers.

The Boards of Directors of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), the European Association for Transgender Health (EPATH), the United States Professional Association for Transgender health (USPATH), the Asian Association for Transgender Health (AsiaPATH), the Canadian Association for Transgender Health (CPATH), the Australian Professional Association for Trans Health (AusPATH), and the Professional Association for Transgender Health Aotearoa (PATHA) all strongly disagree with the  judgment.

They write:

Treatment of transgender adolescents involving gender affirming medical interventions (puberty suppression and subsequent gender affirming hormones) is the most widely accepted and preferred clinical approach in health services for transgender people around the world. 

The aim of puberty suppression is to prevent the psychological suffering which stems from undesired physical changes that occur during puberty, and to allow the adolescent time to carefully consider whether or not to pursue further transition when they are eligible. 

It is part of the two main international guidelines: the WPATH’s Standards of Care as well as the Endocrine Society’s Clinical Practice Guidelines. To be effective, this treatment must commence early in the puberty process, not at the age of 16. When treatment is needed, its effectiveness will be diminished while waiting to be seen by a court of law…

We have a grave concern that the High Court has overlooked not only the immediate positive effects of puberty suppression, which has been demonstrated to result in decreased psychological suffering and a healthier adolescent development, but also the lifelong benefits of having a physical appearance which is congruent with one’s gender identity. 

Withholding such treatment until adolescents are 16 years old means they will experience complete puberty incongruent with their gender identity, which has potential life-long harmful consequences such as stigmatization, personal physical discomfort, difficulty with sexual function and social integration. 

The court’s decision is just one in a long line of attempts to stop trans and queer youth from becoming themselves and live happy lives. These people pretend that they care for trans kids, but their main objective is to force these kids to accept their assigned gender and live up to the binary. This is clearly demonstrated by the fact that this policy has no support among health professionals who know something about gender dysphoria and transgender people.

You can read the whole statement here.

Illustration by Arusyak Pivazyan

The Ultimate Proof of Transgender Identities Being Real

The very existence of transgender people proves that transgender identities are real.

If you belong to those who love fixed gender roles and who get scared when someone question the binary, you have probably made one of the following arguments when addressing transgender people and “strange” gender identities:

• The gender identities of transgender people are not real!
• It is all in their mind!
• Gender identity is the same as biological sex – which  means gonads, genitalia or chromosomes!
• Show me the science!

Truth to be told, most scientists with expertise in the area of gender variance agree that gender is different from biological sex and that transgender identities are real. Most of them also argue that there is a biological component to such identities, although they also point to the extreme complexity of sex and gender development.

Be that as it may, we do not actually need science to prove that transgender identities are real. The very existence of trans people is proof enough.

Huh? How can the existence of trans people prove that trans people are real?

• If there was a simple and persistent one to one relationship between gonads and gender identity there would be no transgender people.
• If the XY chromosome was the basis for a male gender identity there would be no transgender women.
• If ovaries ensured the development of a female gender identity there would be no trans men.

Yet here they are, people who persistently, continuously and intensely experience that they are of another gender than the one they were assigned at birth.

But it is all in their minds!

But that is the point, is it not? Our experience of being a man or a woman or some shade of nonbinary has to be in our minds. Where else could it be?

A man’s sense of being a man is not located in his genitalia, is it? I admit that in some cases this might seem to be the case, given the way some men behave, but in general I think we all can agree that that their sense of self is a matter of the mind.

Sure, our feelings are anchored in our bodies, as expressions of hormones, muscles, blood, nerves and personal histories, but the conscious experience of them is in our minds. It has to be, for all of us.

Click here to read the rest of this article!

Are all transgender people gender dysphoric?

crossdreamers:

No, the headline is not another variant of the “you cannot be trans if you are not gender dysphoric” meme, often used by transmedicalists and transgender separatists who think they more trans than other trans people. 

The headline rather refers to our understanding of the term “gender dysphoric”. 

Could it be that the “you have to be dysphoric to be trans” statement is based on a misunderstanding of the term “gender dysphoric”?

Over at CDL Carah Maisie (who is herself a transgender woman) makes this argument on the basis of an analysis of the DSM-5 “gender dysphoria” diagnosis. Her argument is  inspired by an article written by Jocelyn Badgley.

The DSM-5 manual and its criteria for being gender dysphoric

The DSM-5 is the current edition of the American psychiatric manual.  “Gender dypsphoria” is not seen as a mental illness in the manual, but it is included all the same to ensure that trans people get access to health services and proper insurance.

Carah and Jocelyn list the various criteria that indicate gender dysphoria in the DSM-5, and some of them do indeed refer to a mind/body misalignment:

• A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
• A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of another gender

But these are not the only criteria.  Others refer to social and societal dysphoria:

• A strong desire to be of another gender
• A strong desire to be treated as another gender

Click here to read the rest of this article!

Illustration:  Maria Voronovich

I have gotten a few interesting comments to this post about gender dysphoria and being trans.

“Anonymous” sent me the following comment:

I would say no, not all transgender people are gender dysphoric.

Even if they meet the two criteria listed in the article as the reason why all trans people have dysphoria, “a strong desire to be of another gender” and “a strong desire to be treated as another gender” they would still need to experience distress.

Having gender dysphoria is not the same thing is simply identifying as transgender because it involves experiencing “a clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning” to be diagnosed.

The DSM-V itself states that “not all individuals will experience distress as result of [the incongruence between one’s experienced or expressed gender and one’s assigned gender],” which means that not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria.

Carah sent me the following reply:

In the introduction to what is gender dysphoria, on the APA website, it says, “People with gender dysphoria may often experience significant distress and/or problems functioning associated with this conflict between the way they feel and think of themselves (referred to as experienced or expressed gender) and their physical or assigned gender.”

The actual DSM 5 says: “Gender dysphoria refers to the distress that may accompany the incongruence between one’s experienced or expressed gender and one’s assigned gender. Although not all individuals will experience distress as a result of such incongruence, many are distressed if the desired physical interventions by means of hormones and/or surgery are not available.”, page 451.

May have significant distress sounds like distress is required to have gender dysphoria. Distress is required for the diagnosis. It’s simply a statement that some patients will or will not have significant distress. You can still have gender dysphoria without distress. Worded another way: People with gender dysphoria will have or will not have significant distress and/or problems functioning associated with this conflict between the way they feel and think of themselves (referred to as experienced or expressed gender) and their physical or assigned gender.”

A couple of things to think about. Just because one is coping doesn’t mean they are not experiencing distress. And they way they are describing distress is what might happen if you were prevented from doing what helps you align. So imagine you are euphoric when you dress as another gender. Now imagine that was not allowed to you, you would feel distress, this would qualify as gender dysphoria.

Are all transgender people gender dysphoric?

No, the headline is not another variant of the “you cannot be trans if you are not gender dysphoric” meme, often used by transmedicalists and transgender separatists who think they more trans than other trans people. 

The headline rather refers to our understanding of the term “gender dysphoric”. 

Could it be that the “you have to be dysphoric to be trans” statement is based on a misunderstanding of the term “gender dysphoric”?

Over at CDL Carah Maisie (who is herself a transgender woman) makes this argument on the basis of an analysis of the DSM-5 “gender dysphoria” diagnosis. Her argument is  inspired by an article written by Jocelyn Badgley.

The DSM-5 manual and its criteria for being gender dysphoric

The DSM-5 is the current edition of the American psychiatric manual.  “Gender dypsphoria” is not seen as a mental illness in the manual, but it is included all the same to ensure that trans people get access to health services and proper insurance.

Carah and Jocelyn list the various criteria that indicate gender dysphoria in the DSM-5, and some of them do indeed refer to a mind/body misalignment:

• A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
• A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of another gender

But these are not the only criteria.  Others refer to social and societal dysphoria:

• A strong desire to be of another gender
• A strong desire to be treated as another gender

Click here to read the rest of this article!

Illustration:  Maria Voronovich

dreamyfreakout:

On being trans & depressed. 🙃🙃🙃

Is it a Fetish or Gender Dysphoria?

I have spent 12 years of my life helping queer, trans and nonbinary people sort through the morass of fetish theories and “paraphilias”. 

If I have to sum it all up in one short paragraph, it would something like this:

Every kind of gender variance people assign to “fetishes”, may just as well be a sign of some shade of gender dysphoria. Your unconscious is trying to tell you something about yourself, and your deeper self is not really concerned about what your grandma would think is proper and good.

Sexuality is a powerful drive, and we should not be surprised that erotic fantasies sometimes are harnessed by a suppressed gender identity.

Amanda Roman has written an important piece over at Medium that addresses the same conundrum, and if this is something that bothers you, you should definitely read it.

She writes:

Reading transformation fiction allowed me to quickly bypass uncomfortable reality in favor of magical fantasy. Turning my feelings into sexual urges made them easy to purge. Whenever the distracting thoughts arose, I could simply read a few stories about men transforming into women, get aroused, have a brief moment of release, and then move on with my life…

At the same time, whenever I allowed my so-called fetish to enter the real world via brief episodes of furtive crossdressing, it was frustratingly not sexual at all. I would try on a skirt or a pair of shoes, admire how feminine they made my legs look, and perhaps start to get an erection, but then I’d see how ridiculous I looked in the mirror and be filled with shame and self-loathing. It was not sexy to feel like a gross pervert….

Gender transition in the real world can seem impossible. Our bodies feel like inescapable destiny, and transgressing social norms can have severe consequences. One way to cope with the cognitive dissonance of wanting something so seemingly impossible is to convince yourself that you don’t really want it — that the desire you’re feeling is actually something much less consequential — a hobby, an interest, or as in my case, a fetish.

In the end Amanda could not live like this anymore. She did transition, and the need to read transformation stories disappeared.

This does not mean reading transgender erotic stories is wrong. This does not mean that all who have such fantasies should transition. But it does mean that everyone who comes back to such transformation stories should take a deep breath and think about what this fascination comes from. 

See also: “I Feel Pretty”, a post about erotic fantasies of becoming “the other sex”, 

Illustration photo of transgender woman by SolStock.

Gender Dysphoria Isn’t What You Think

Cassie LaBelle has an interesting take on gender dysphoria over at Medium.

She argues that the traditional descriptions of gender dysphoria may not make sense to trans people who are still in denial or exploring their sense of self:

The more I read, the more certain I became that I wasn’t trans. I had only cross-dressed a few times as an adolescent, and never as an adult. I didn’t feel intense distress about having a penis. I didn’t even feel like I was “trapped in the wrong body.” I didn’t exactly LIKE my body, but it’s not like I looked in the mirror every morning and thought to myself, “hmm, this should be a girl!” And if that wasn’t at the heart of being trans, then what was?

Telling a trans person that they aren’t trans — or aren’t “trans enough” — serves no purpose other than cruelty, Cassie argues.  She also points out that lot of “unhatched or newly-hatched” trans people suffer from gender dysphoria without actually realizing it. 

Gender dysphoria appears as a different experience once you fully accept the fact that you are transgender.  Mirrors were distressing for Cassie, but she did not understand why. “..early on, you can come up with an alternate explanation for almost every symptom,” she writes.

Talk to trans women about their pre-transition experiences with women’s clothing, or with playing female characters in video games, and you’ll get a similar range of answers. Some trans people gravitate toward expressing their true selves using clothing or digital avatars early on, perhaps not even realizing why. Others (like me) felt too much frenetic energy bound up in these things, and shied away from them — not because I didn’t want to be seen as more feminine, but because I had a lot of shame and confusion and anxiety bound up in these things, and I wasn’t ready to face it yet.

Read the whole article including “Cassie’s Incomplete List of Things That Were Actually Gender Dysphoria The Whole Time!” here!

Illustration: Ponomariova_Maria